Too Broken To Believe

And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and had been seen of her, believed not. Mark 16:11

The men in our text had left everything that meant anything to follow Jesus. And the three and a half years they walked with Him far exceeded not only their expectations, but their wildest imaginations! Miracles became an every day occurrence. The words of His wisdom were obviously from another world. The experiences would often surpass their own ability to believe. Even the danger of following the Messiah in a very hostile environment was invigorating. Every evening was closed with feelings of exhaustion and total satisfaction. Every morning was met with amazement and a new sense of expectations.

They could feel the end in the air. Everything was closing in around them. Jesus had established His deity and would soon establish His Kingdom. Their reward for leaving everything behind was right around the corner. They would soon sit in positions of power with the King of the Kingdom! Life was good and getting better.

You know what they say, right? If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. This was one of those cases. Jesus started talking strangely. Perhaps they thought it was just the pressure He was under, but His words carried a sincerity and seriousness that soon convinced them their plan and His plan was not the same. At one point, Simon Peter even rebuked Jesus’ attempt to prepare them for the inevitable end. Only Jesus knew that what was to come would shake them to their core.

The disciples watched in absolute horror as Jesus was betrayed, arrested, convicted, and executed. They sat near the cross as He dropped His head and breath left His body. It was finished! As I am writing this, I pause to try to get a feeling of the pain and disappointment they must have felt, but my mind fell far short of such a manufactured attempt. The disciples then watched as Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus took Jesus’ limp body and buried it in a tomb. All the plans and dreams they had in their hearts had died with Jesus’ last breath. Once again they found themselves exhausted, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t from miracles and ministry, but from the misery of watching Rome win yet again.

Have you ever experienced a time when it felt like the world won again? On this side of the story, we know that it ends in triumph, but they were not on this side. I understand that when Mary met Jesus at the empty tomb she was filled with faith. Still, I also understand how the other disciples doubted. They were on different sides of the story. Sometimes, we are so broken we can’t seem to believe. We know God’s Words are true, and we trust Him, but on the wrong side of the story it seems the suffering may never end.

Jesus would later rebuke their doubt and unbelief, but what He didn’t do, is disqualify their discipleship. Nor did He refuse to ever use them again. He simply told them what to expect if they did believe. And in time they did. What made the difference? When they were able to be in His presence. And being in the presence of Jesus will make the difference for you.

Suggested Reading: Mark 16