Mature Disciples Control Their Conversation

A Study in the Book of James

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”If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.“

James 1:26 NLT

The tongue is probably one of Satan’s most effective traps to harm yourself, others, and your relationship with God. There are others, but pride can be one underlying cause of someone who doesn’t control their conversation. They think it is impressive to be “in the know,” or they may need the attention of others. Whatever the root cause, controlling your conversation is a defining mark of a spiritually mature disciple.

Your conversation is indicative of your integrity. In a matter of minutes, your conversation can destroy the credibility that you have built through a lifetime. Beware of people who ask questions on matters that should remain confidential, especially in a crowd. Never hesitate to respond with “I can’t discuss that” if they leave you no choice but to do so. They may be disappointed, but they will respect your use of discretion in discussing the lives of others. The temptation to share information is strong, control it. Remember, you could be quoted, or worse, misquoted.

Keep in mind that body language in response to someone’s comment or question can say more than your words. You don’t get a free pass on using body language. Depending on your gestures, it can still be a breach of confidentiality.

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”   Ephesians 4:29 NLT

Years ago, I read a definition of gossip that I liked:  “Gossip is hearing something you like about someone you don’t.”  Mature disciples don’t use their tongue to tear others down but to build them up. Denigrating others doesn’t elevate you; it actually diminishes you in the eyes of others. 

There are many verses in the Bible concerning the tongue and our conversation - begin with James 3:3-11 and allow the Holy Spirit to convict, correct, and control your conversation. It’s a sure sign you have become a Mature Disciple of Christ!